Workshop

According to their website the workshop is like boot camp and focuses heavily on exercises to spark the generation and revision of new work.

I specifically chose to apply to this workshop because I'm now a full year out from having been in any sort of workshop setting. And because I spend a solid 75% of my time with people under the age of four. And because I never have quiet moments to write. I have somewhat less busy moments, but I'm always somewhat on the edge, just waiting for the next alarm to sound, for the next poop-cident to drag me miles away from any sort of creative and industrious moment.

I chose Kenyon because I need some alone time to write. And I chose a workshop over say, renting a hotel room by myself for a week, because I need to surround myself with like-minded people. Otherwise, I would no doubt spend my afternoon's alone wandering antique shops or my evenings staring at mindless television, while the screen saver swirls over the laptop monitor (which would be on a table surrounded by pints of fat-free ice cream and crumpled bags of cheddar flavored Quakes and whatever other food I can never eat around my kids without them clammoring for more, more, more.)

I need the space, but I also need the boot, so to speak.

But, now only a week away from arriving, I'm feeling more than a little overwhelmed. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm dreading it, because I certainly am not. I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm just anxious. Mostly because the story I used to apply to the program has since been accepted for publication (yay) - so I opted to submit a different sample, a story -gulp- that I have doubts about. No one asked me to do this, this was all me.

What was I thinking? That I would love being torn apart (sorry, constructively criticized)? That my ego could use a good thrashing?

Obviously not. I'm no masochist. No, I decided to submit the story-in-question, in an uncharacteristic moment of rational thought. For that strange short moment of clarity before pressing send, I understood that whatever issues I'm having with this story, I haven't been able to fix on my own - so it might be good to get the help of fellow writer's.

I haven't had too many moments like that since then. Then again, I've been dealing with other matters here (fleas, for one - ugh). Which again, brings me back to why I applied to the workshop in the first place.

Time to find my big girl pants and just get it over with.