Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Novel Writing 101

Wake up shortly after your spouse leaves for work.

Turn on Laptop, start coffee, check email, news, blogs, social networking sites (as coffee brews)

Close internet.

Open the novel.

Stare blankly at the screen for a moment, then realize you haven't yet poured your coffee.

Return to laptop with hot mug of liquid inspiration and wait for words to come.

Open internet.

Nothing has changed in the five minutes since you closed it. Drat.

Begin by skimming over what you wrote the day before.


Resist the urge to cut and paste and edit everything written.

Consider skipping this "read what we've written" step for tomorrow.

Begin writing.

Let the cat out.

Pour more coffee.

Run to bathroom.

Return to laptop and open internet again.


Glance at treadmill and try to calculate how much time you have left to write before you need to exercise and then shower, before you need to go to your day job.

Only about an hour.

How much can you possibly get done in an hour?

What? A paragraph? A single perfect sentence?

Check email.

Look! A nice woman from Africa wants to include you in her good fortune, she only needs your bank account information.


Return to the open novel.

Begin to wonder if you are enough of a morning person to pull off AM writing.


Add "super glue" to list of things to get at the store. (To be applied to your rear so that you have no choice but to sit and write.)

Sit back down.

Open internet.

Write a blog post about avoiding novel writing.

Mentally slap wrist.

Close internet.

Let cat back in.

Pour more coffee.

Forty-five minutes left.

This might take a while.


*Austin Mommy* said...

Love it!

Eileen Wiedbrauk said...


... wait ...

is it funny if I'm living it?