The Simplest of Acts: And Other Stories finally appeared on Amazon yesterday. My husband was the first to notice and he then proceeded to inform the entire known world.
When the story "The Simplest of Acts" first appeared in print (Family Circle Magazine) in 2007, I was elated. It was the very first story I had ever submitted for publication - anywhere - and it was accepted. Now, after two more years of writing and publishing efforts, successes and rejections, I can truly appreciate how blessed and lucky I was for that to occur.
However, after the immediate elation of seeing something I'd written in a magazine, I became overwhelmed with a sense of being vulnerable and exposed. While my family and friends all went to their local CVS or Stop and Shop to pick up their copies, and the emails from readers across the country began to trickle in with their praise for my writing, I began to feel more and more like disappearing until it was over.
I write, because it's solitary, it's quiet. It's something I can do to express myself, without needing to take to a stage. I like it that way. Just me and a keyboard and a cup of coffee. Having readers, on the other hand, is something I actually try to ignore. I need them, yes. But I try to forget that they're out there, seeing what I've written in the solace of my own little place in the world.
Putting myself out there as a promoter of my own writing is not something I am comfortable with, but it's something I need to get over. So, go out and buy my book, darn it.
Or not. That's really ok too.
Truth is, I think I'm just as afraid of success as I am of failure.